You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
