I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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