It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
