do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
