Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize