Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
