??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
