i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
