in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
