She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
