i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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