Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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(407): View more from Florida

He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

You would...

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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(316): View more from Kansas

The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.

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(916): View more from California

What's the place called?

(916): View more from California

I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results

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(316): View more from Kansas

My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car

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