i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
you made out with another girl for some wings
last night I used snow as a chaser
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
