I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
love makes seman taste better
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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