So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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