The maid of honor just puked.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
