there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
