I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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