God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
