Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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