Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
