Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
