He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
