walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
