I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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