when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
