If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
