Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
