my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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