I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
