just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
