lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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