Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
