For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
