I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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