You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
