Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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