I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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