Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
