alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
