You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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