Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
