she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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