like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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