Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
