he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We are all done wearing pants today
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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