I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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