I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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