so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
