There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
