Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
