I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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