the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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