Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
