Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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