somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
