Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The ass gains better be worth it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
