I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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