I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
